In late March, Rakshitha A., 32, went to a stranger’s house to read a book. She settled on a sofa next to a sleepy dog, only getting up to make herself a cup of tea. Soon, she was joined by another unfamiliar woman who positioned herself at the desk in the cosy living room. The women occasionally smiled or nodded at each other but rarely spoke. While this may seem strange to most, it is a glimpse into a silent movement where women are creating safe spaces for each other.

It was in January this year that 36-year-old Meghna Chaudhury, training to be a therapist, decided to open up her home in Indiranagar, Bengaluru, to women and non-binary people, to work, paint, sleep, read, and more importantly, do nothing, if they so wished. Her post about this ‘No Agenda Space’ blew up on social media, and in just a day, 20-30 women had reached out to Chaudhury asking if they could use the space.

The idea for this initiative sparked from an unexpected afternoon of “non-talking companionship” between three of her friends, who were strangers to each other, and happened to come over on the same day in mid-January. Women existing in each other’s company without any expectations, or labour demands, made Chaudhury aware of the lack of such spaces. So, she created one.

“I named it No Agenda Space because it’s just that — a third space that isn’t their home or workplace and doesn’t demand anything, not even a conversation, from anyone who identifies as a woman,” she says. “This space is completely anti-performative small talk. But it’s often expected of women. I wanted to create a space where they can just exist.” Chaudhury’s two-bedroom apartment is open to strangers five days a week from noon to 4:30 p.m., after prior registration online. People are free to use her WiFi, grab snacks from the kitchen or even prepare something for themselves.

Starting this month, she is asking for a contribution of ₹80 per head to cover costs like electricity, water and so on. For safety reasons, Chaudhury has made it mandatory for people to bring an identity proof. She also ensures there are two or three women visiting at the same time. Her dog, Millie, is often a participant at these sessions and can be found cuddling up with a stranger or taking a snooze with another.

One thing Chaudhury is clear about: there will be no hosting. “It’s my rejection of the idea of a woman having to host. I don’t want the responsibility of catering to other people’s needs in my own home. I am tired of that,” she explains.

The need for a third space

Increasingly, across India, many people like Chaudhury live in the shadows of urban loneliness and find it exhausting to maintain adult friendships. There is also the constant labour that women, especially, have to do in any space. Be it physical or emotional, something is always asked of their presence. “Among all these responsibilities, you don’t get time for yourself. So, sometimes leisure is just sleeping without answering five phone calls from your children, partner or colleague,” says Chaudhury.

For the women who have used Chaudhury’s place in the last three months, it has been about not having to perform an identity and freeing themselves of clingy gendered impositions. For instance, while one woman came to take a nap, another painted, and two others who had lost their pets hung out with Millie. Interestingly, one woman was recommended the space by her therapist, while another came there to attend an online therapy session. “It made me think about how women often don’t feel safe enough to do that in their own homes,” says Chaudhury.

For people with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) or for those on the autism spectrum, such third spaces are helpful and nurturing, says Rinkle Jain, a neurodivergent psychologist and psychotherapist based in Mumbai. “Often, they can’t just exist the way they want. They can’t constantly get up and walk around in their workspace, or expect a quiet environment at home. So, having a third space gives them a sense of agency. It’s almost like they can breathe better,” she explains.

A refuge during the pandemic

However, the idea of providing a third space for women “to do nothing” is not entirely new. Back in 2021, at the height of the pandemic, Indu Antony set up Namma Katte in Bengaluru because she wanted to offer a safe space for women in view of the rising number of domestic violence cases.

Women take a pause at Namma Katte in Bengaluru.
| Photo Credit:
Indu Antony

“There was no third space where women could go without having to spend money. Namma Katte [meaning ‘our place’ in Kannada] gives them a place to exist without any questions from morning to evening,” says Antony. Since Namma Katte is situated in a public area with no doors — it used to be a shop once — Antony hopes that the next generation will see women simply resting in full visibility, something she had never witnessed growing up.

Antony points out the socio-economic disparity that exists between the people who visit Namma Katte and No Agenda Space. “When someone from the upper class starts a space like this, it garners a lot of attention but it’s not the same for people from underprivileged sections,” she says. But Antony is happy to see more women creating safe spaces for each other and hopes social barriers of caste and class can be eliminated someday.

 Indu Antony, founder of Namma Katte in Bengaluru.
| Photo Credit:
Vivek Muthuramalingam

A growing movement

Inspired by Chaudhury, women across Bengaluru and a few in other cities have decided to create No Agenda Spaces. For instance, Vidhu Vinod who lives in Kaggadasapura, Bengaluru, is inviting people to use her home a few days a week to “come chill”. “Women, especially, don’t have enough safe third spaces like men do, to just be themselves. The fact that this idea has picked up and we are creating a network of such spaces for each other shows how big a need this was,” says Vinod. 

In Mumbai, women can go to Shruthi Jahagirdar’s home one Sunday every month for four hours to work on their dreams. “I know how expensive the city is and working on your startup or idea in cafes is not something many can afford. Since I live by myself, the least I can give other women is four hours in my house to do whatever they want in a no-judgment zone,” she explains.

Arundhati Gaddala, who lives in Hyderabad, hopes to offer silent companionship to women through a No Agenda Space. “I want to just be there when someone needs help to get through something they might be struggling with,” she says.

Seeing how quickly and eagerly women have shown up for each other, Chaudhury feels overwhelmed. “This space has made me realise that even without words, there can be sisterhood,” she says.

The independent journalist specialises in gender, culture, and social justice.

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